parental consent

Tomorrow, I will start to beseech my faith the way you do. this is step one in my submission as your Eve. in a year or so, we’ll lead our brood in the same faith, as a family. a happy one.

I was deeply touched by how your folks have waited for me. how they opened their doors wide enough, even before i decided to walk into your life again. their words have done a great deal in healing the bruises my knees have incurred the last time i ran wild with you.

“Noon pa ay alam na naming si Rain ang para sayo, nak. Kasi hindi ka namin nakitang nagmahal gaya ng pagmamahal mo sa kanya. “

You family answered many of the doubts I charged to broken heart the day i let go of the last straw: contrary to what I believed, I wasn’t the only one who did all the fighting. for at the other end of the rope, you were gripping hard enough too, even if your palms, like mine, were bleeding.

“Kung nagdecide ka na si Rain na ang gusto mo makasama, kailangan magsumikap ka, magbago ka na, magpakasigla ka para maakay mo siya.”

More than saying NO to weekend night outs with your friends, more than chucking off today’s lesson plan and letting your students write poetry for us instead, more than ringing up my relatives and asking for apology for our failures before, I am deeply touched by how you are able to convince your family that my love is your ultimate bliss.

“Ate, inggit ako sa’yo dahil isang taon lng ang tanda mo sa akin pero never ko pa naranasan na may mabaliw-baliw sa akin. yung tumatakbong parang ewan masagot lang ang tawag mo.”

claim

things, indeed, change overnight.

the last time i slept in your chest, we didn’t know how to face the next waking hour. we were haunted by youth, time, distance and material limitations. our then fairytale was helpless.

the last time i held you in my arms, we were crying in the midst of an old bus terminal, never wanting to part but not having a choice at all.

the last time we exchanged poetry, we spoke of you raging in me and me raining on you. it was dangerous, and in the end, unbearable.

in the last five years, we led good lives separately. we’ve grown into learned, successful adults. we’ve proved ourselves to our families and the society. we’ve tried to rebuild our then dreams with other people. but amidst all the laurels reaped; the joys, almost uncontainable, we still felt hollow inside.

on the streets, you see my face in strangers; you call your girls by my name.

in bed, i muffle thoughts of you between moans; my heart sighs; everyday, it dies.

time has told. we still had everything even if we were apart. but we were never complete, fulfilled, and at peace. inside, we fought endless battles with our hearts. though silenced, though gagged, our heartbeats still spelled other’s moniker.

the search was fast because the universe conspired. i found you, you found me.

we no longer needed to put up a fight. because you see, there was no more to prove. we didn’t have to win what was already ours to begin with.

scofield-tancredi nuptials

we are each other’s revolution. a battle once lost, but a war that is won in the end.

we are each other’s reflection. love mirroring love.

we are each other’s alter ego. raining rage, raging rain.

at oo beb, walang kokontra, tayo ang real life michael scofield at sara tancredi

dusk and dawn

in one of your first love letters, you enclosed two photos: a sunrise and a sunset. that gesture sealed my doubts closed. everyday, there’s only one set of sunrise and sunset. and to capture those, you have to have an entire day spent. especially if we’re talking of the year 2003, an era where digital cameras and photo printing weren’t yet as affordable as they are now.

years after we tried to forget our year long fairytale, those photographs still laid untouched in a box where together with all the trinkets of our young love, i kept you.

since then, and until now, i look at sunrises and sunsets with the same degree of pride and hope that those photographs have given me. the opposite ends of everyday were the pillars from where i took the strength to believe in our promises and wait for your return.

magpahanggang ngayon, sa akin, nananatili kang
bukangliwayway at dapithapon

silence

langging,

though we are branded as literary bitches,

we never let go of those rusty swing chains

and when words are unbreathable,

we’re never scared to tatter our lips.

and our silence?

our silence echo between us.

perhaps, we love alike, sin alike.

and we can willingly die

the next day for the heart.

—
for Rage and Rain
by Tintin.

her visuals, his verses

…and ryan’s ribs.

i♥

-0-

blurb

i am Carrie Bradshaw. more than labels, i crave for love. but even if there are countless of guys in Manhattan who are all too willing to run wild with me, i always find my way back to him, My Mr. Big.

i am Meredith Grey. i am supposedly unable to feel. but here comes McDreamy, and now i am afraid. because fear means you have something to lose, and i don’t wanna lose him.

i am Jamie Elizabeth Sullivan. in my eyes, all the stars in heaven are named Landon Lawrence Carter.

i am Sidney Bristow;

Ally McBeal;

Sara Tancredi;

Lois Lane;

Allie Hamilton.

i am all of television and silver screen’s strong, fearless and invincible heroines.

and like them,

i fall,

give in,

submit,

go weak in the knees,

for LOVE.

it’s not a good a sight to see, i know. but there’s always one person in every little girl’s life who’s worth that defeat, that weakness, that heartbreak, that smile despite the pain.

that’s what Rage is to me. everyday, i live another life. and everyday too, i die happy deaths.

amen

RYAN YU SILVA

yes,
i will marry you.

labtim

madalas, hindi bagay sa atin ang anumang kakornihang makikita sa Hallmark cards. kahit yung kwento natin hindi karaniwan. yung tipo ng kwentong di pa kailanman naimbento sa kanta, nobela o pelikula. hindi planado, hindi sadya. bigla na lang sumasambulat sa ating harapan ng di napaghahandaan at napipigilan.

magkahalong astig at angas, adik at manyak.

si ra-yan at ar-yan. rage at rain. ikaw at ako.

tayo.

habambuhay
.peksman.

liyab

sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon, hindi ko na kinailangang magsulat para malaman ng mundo kung anumang meron tayo.

sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon, nakahanap ako ng katapat. yung tipong kaya kong magpatalo; umatras, kasi mas kuntento akong nasa likod mo.

sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon, may isang ikaw na habambuhay kong titingalain. isang bagay na habambuhay kong ipagyayabang na akin.

sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon, umibig ako ng walang pero-pero.

higit sa lahat, sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon, mahal ako ng mahal ko.

“Rain, im not perfect, you’re not perfect. together we can be. that’s what i call love and that’s how it should be. nag-uumpisa nko mabuhayan ng loob at mangarap ngayon. kasama ka. mahal na mahal kita.”