0800ringthepast
how does one start an end?
no matter how crisp and well-ironed the surface was, i still felt tangled inside. the thinking took long, but in the end, i gave in to working backwards.
that’s where i found you.
five years. the heap of everything that has happened between now and then had long buried whatever memories i’ve had of you. none of the heart flutters and goosebumps had lingered long enough to reincarnate on reminiscence. if i think of you now, the brain solely operates. the heart, too sad, is too numb to remember.
but even if in the past years you remained unspoken of, i am resolved that what we’ve had has something to do with my almost irrational vice of holding back. the guilt kills me inside. the fake-ness of my repetitive brouhahas rots from within. i couldn’t find sincerity in my eyes, honesty in my heart and silence in my life.
ironically, i RAGE inside.
and i guess, this is all because i impulsively refused to give us a chance.
—
the (final) call will tell all. until then, the heart can wait.
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